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1st XI vs Leigh | Beech Walk


Leigh (a) 2023- Bring back Churchman

New Brighton began their away fixtures with a lovely trip through Liverpool to Leigh, looking to get an emphatic first win of the season. Moral was high as the cars pulled up with the first of many shocks beginning. Firstly, looking as though he revisited the Cheshire cup final evening, or met Toby Bullcock in the car park, the skipper seemed scarier than usual with missing teeth and stitches in his lip. Looking like the elephant man the skipper bounced into the changing rooms barking orders with his sidekick gaffa lurking behind. When describing how his wounds were inflicted, gaffa reveals it was actually him who battered the skipper… SEE YA!

The boys went out for the warmup with the bear running some hard lines, and in touch rugby with the boy’s anticipation slowly increasing as the warm-up was completed. The skipper won the toss and elected to field looking to capitalise upon a seemingly seamer friendly track. The baby giraffe and fi-fi-fo-fum Sebastian ‘the Mouth’ Botes opened the bowling looking to set the magpies off to a flyer. The Mouth bowled well however the baby giraffe began to be mauled by the 2 opening hyenas, screaming wildly as his being was being possessed through bites in his flesh. The skipper decided to save the baby giraffe by bringing L Botes into the attack. 3 wickets fell in quick succession as L Botes and the old dog (Martyn Evans) bowled in tandem forcing the hyenas back to their evil lair. The hyenas rallied however through the pure leadership and prowess of Scar, their elected leader. Scar struck some deadening blows as his troops flourished around him, anchoring the Leigh innings. Despite some quality coaching from the sidelines at drinks, New Brighton could still not unlock the door to Scars dismissal and thus Leigh ended the innings on 239. A very challenging total upon a difficult batting wicket.

The second shock of the day came from no other than the contractless gaffa, who decided to treat himself to a pint at tea due to the stress inflicted by spectating the New Brighton side. See you in Court Pal! The third coming from no other than ‘the Gorgeous’ Scott Sherratt, describing his escapades over his winter of love and affairs. Tim Watkins Son and the Mouth opened for New Brighton looking to dig in and lay a steady foundation for New Brighton. The giant had other ideas, as he attempts a flourishing drive over the bowler’s head and proceeds to get bowled. The trend did not improve as wickets fell as hard as the gaffa’s Lancashire cricketing career and betrothal, as Leigh ran rampant through New Brighton’s batting order. The only point of resistance came from Owais ‘the brother’ Shah who played some stupendous shots on his way to a red inker, fighting the hyenas amiably after a month of ‘strict fasting’. New Brighton were eventually bowled out for 92 after a brief last stand by Danny ‘the Dangly’ Hamm and the brother, inflicting a heavy defeat for the rakers.

All in all, a better performance than the previous week, however a lot of work still required for the New Brighton side. With the pro and Sunny hopefully participating in a few weeks, things are looking up, with a key clash against Wigan being pivotal in redeeming a rocky start.

Written by L Botes


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